Daily Comic Book Mission #008: Absolute Batman #17

Everyone, get your crayons ready because you've got to write down your Daily Comic Book Mission. And today’s mission is to read Absolute Batman number 17. I know there’s been like almost back-to-back Batmans here. What’s going on? But this is the one I read this evening. So it’s the one I’m going to record and recommend because it’s good. Also, because it’s possible that some younger viewers might hear this.

And they’ll be like, this show’s all right because it’s clearly not made by A.I. because what computer program would possibly do this? Um… excuse me, I have to take a sip of beer.

[sip!]

That’s a good beer. If you watch the video segment for this book, I’m not entirely sure how I’m organizing the page yet, but I did shoot a video while ordering the beer that I drank prior to recording this. And suffice to say, I will not be operating any heavy construction equipment later..... legally. So let’s just keep that in mind. Where was I? That’s right. I’m hoping to also open the eyes to some younger listeners.

Wow, I just talked myself into a corner. Open the eyes of younger listeners to comic book series such as Shogun Warriors, The Warlord, Groo the Wanderer, and Air Raiders. So, you know, those of you who are not fortunate enough to have been born in the 70s, I’m sorry. But you can still run out there and pick up some Sweet Air Raiders comics. But where was I? That’s right, Absolute Batman number 17.

It's got Poison Ivy on the cover and Batman, who appears to be either barfing vines or vines murdering Batman, one or the other. So, this is like a brand new comic book. I just bought this one a couple hours ago and immediately swung by one of my favorite breweries and picked up a sweet double IPA on cask. So honestly, for the older listeners, like you know how it is.

If you just have that moment of peace where you can enjoy one of your favorite beers, nobody’s yelling at you, and you’re reading a comic book, it’s just the most perfect, pleasant experience. I just had that. So I’m in a pretty good mood. I don’t get that that often, believe it or not. Even though it’s ComicBook.beer, I don’t get to actually do that every single day, sadly. Otherwise, it’d look like Java the Hutt. Oh, the Java, Java, the Jabba, wow.

Jabba seemed pretty content with himself until he was strangled by Leia. I wonder if there’s a class action lawsuit against Leia for that. Anyway, where was I? You know, I completely lost track. But this, one of my favorite parts of this particular issue, is that Batman dives into this whole plant monstrosity thing that’s apparently emerged in the middle of Gotham. And I don’t think if they really explain exactly, like at least not right up front, why or what happened, but he dives in there with…

Not one, but two chainsaw arms.

Like... Ash from Army of Darkness only had one. He’s got two. And he starts cutting up like undead plant monsters. And it’s really cool. The action scenes are terrific. It’s got a slightly different, it’s got a very different look than the… stylistically it’s similar to the other issues in the series, but obviously the artwork is very different.

Let’s see, who’s the creative team on this one? We’ve got Scott Snyder as the writer. Eric Canete, or Kanete… Kanit… Eric is awesome, how about we just say that? I can never pronounce anyone’s name. Eric is the guest artist. C-A-N-E-T-E. And Nick Draggota and Frank Martin do the cover. Nick Draggota certainly proved himself to be pretty good.

It's got some really great action scenes in here, lots of fire. There’s some good flamethrower stuff. Monsters with giant eyeballs, in fact, lots of eyeballs. Batman being blown up. Very cool action scenes.

I can clearly see why this is DC’s most popular comic right now. It’s not as good as Groo the Wanderer… and they have no one to blame except Groo for being just that damn good. But still, it is a good issue. And there’s Poison Ivy posing. I don’t really know the Poison Ivy story all that well. I’m familiar with the character, but I don’t really know anything about her or whatever. But Batman does use a flamethrower. And he screams, RAAAA! Just like that.

It’s the kind of dialogue I do appreciate in a comic book. Great action scenes.

And it’s your…

Daily…

Comic…

There’s a Gamorrean guard off screen. I’m not on camera. So used to doing camera stuff over the years. I flash back to it. There’s a Gamorrean guard off microphone staring. It’s taunting me. It’s looking at me. I’ve had this figure since, whatever, 1983 or whatever.

Cheers to you, Gamorrean. Gamorran? Is it Gamorrean? Gamorre…

I lost the ax years ago. It had a cool ax…

That’s your Daily Comic Book Mission. Enjoy the professionalism of ComicBook.beer. I’ll see you next time for another ridiculous Daily Comic Book Mission. Spelled like it sounds.

And I’ll give a shout out to the places that I supported today so that you can support them. East End Brewing in Pittsburgh made the beer. East End Bigger Hop.

Bigger Hop. It’s huge. It’s like jet fuel. Amazing.

And I purchased my comic book at Phantom of the Attic Comics. Phantom of the Attic comic books in Pittsburgh, the Oakland neighborhood of Pittsburgh. You got that? Is that clear? Good.

That’s special. And I’ll see you next time…

I mean, I won’t actually see you, but you’ll hear my voice next time that you listen to Daily Comic Book Mission…

From comic book. This is clearly the best or worst idea I’ve ever had…

ComicBook.beer