Daily Comic Book Mission #044: Transformers #31

Everyone get your crayons ready because I bring you another daily comic book mission, and today's mission is hot. It's hot off the presses, brand new, still piping hot as of this recording. Should the comic book be steaming while I'm holding it? Probably not, but it is because it's Transformers issue number 31 from the future year 2026.

When people are no smarter than fish, for the most part. But we do get a good Transformers series. And this issue begins to explain Megatron's seizures. That should just be the title of the issue. Why is Megatron suffering from seizures? Should he take some Advil for that? We don't know, but what we see here is that Megatron is enduring trials in his head.

So somebody, maybe one of the Decepticons, I'm gonna go with Frenzy. Frenzy seems like a prankster. Roofied or slipped some LSD into Megatron's drink, and he's just out of his mind suffering these trials. Thousands of trials where quintessence are pulling him apart and his head's being ripped off, and we learn that Megatron has the opposite of the Matrix of Leadership, the Matrix of Oppression, which just makes me think of Spaceballs, because everything does. There's two sides to every Schwartz. So Megatron's got the other side, the Matrix of Oppression, the matrix of generally being an ill tempered asshole.

Megatron will not give in to these trials. We don't know what's going on here, but something wants Megatron to get in line and follow, and basically bend a knee, for lack of a better term. Megatron's like no. He's fighting Sharkticons, quintessence, tentacles, and other Decepticons from years past.

And the book goes through these various trials, the 6,354th trial, the 8,588th trial, a whole bunch of trials. It's a very cinematic issue. The artist on this issue is Ludo Lullabi. That's a fun name to say. Ludo Lullabi. It's a really short issue. You breeze right through this one, because there's a bunch of two page spreads where Megatron is on some sort of space world, and maybe that's Cybertron in the distance, or other planets. There's a giant Decepticon symbol, and then he's tearing rock formations apart, and eventually he's like fine, I'm sick of these trials. All right, fine, I agree, whatever.

And then he meets Megatronus, who's a Decepticon who's on fire. Is it a real Decepticon? We don't know. But long story short here, I mean you know it's gonna happen. Eventually Megatron gives in, but we don't know what happens when he gives in, because he starts to evolve like a Pokemon. So it's possible that Megatron evolves into Pikachu. Who can say with all the licensing these days where Transformers and the Energon Universe are going?

We've got Transformers, Void Rivals, G.I. Joe, MASK, and maybe Pokemon. Megatron, I choose you to destroy the Autobots. So that's your daily comic book mission, but in order to accept this mission, which you have no choice but to accept because it's mandatory, you really have to read the earlier issues.

Not all comic book series are like this. For the most part, you can dive into any issue of The Warlord and be like okay, cool. Travis Morgan fights monsters, whatever. In Transformers, I think it's good if you know what's going on in the overall series and the Energon Universe. It's a lot of fun. They're pretty quick reads for the most part, and they're just beautiful issues. The artwork and the color are really nice, even though this one is a bit short.

So hopefully the next one picks up with some more plot, with Optimus Prime fighting, I guess, Pikachu or whatever. I don't know any other Pokemon.

I wonder what other licenses they can shove into the Energon Universe. I mean, it's pretty interesting watching them mash all this stuff up. How about Barbie? I think that's Mattel, but I mean, I'm sure they have some reserve funds. What if Megatron married Barbie? What would their offspring look like? Ewoks? Maybe gummy bears. I'm gonna go with gummy bears that transform into Go-Bots, and then fight Lucasfilm for the rights to Star Wars so that the new movies don't suck.

Here we go. Okay, I think that's a plot we can all get behind.

So that's your daily comic book mission. Transformers issue number 31. I don't know what's wrong. Maybe I'm on the same drugs that Megatron's on. I'm suffering trials in my head. Gummy bears, I choose you.