Conan the Barbarian #35 - Video Review by 80s Comics

It is January 23rd of Dry January. It’s 23 days without a drink. Given the events of the last week, I could really use one, but I’m not gonna. I’m going to see Dry January all the way through, which is why I’m going to a bar that serves a dry beer. I’m calling it a dry beer, an NA beer that I have not had, so I’m going to check it out. You’re all welcome to join me. I’ve got a backpack full of Conan the Barbarian comic books and I’m going to find one to read while I enjoy this hopefully delicious beer. I know their regular beers are good, so I’m heading over to Two Frays Brewing in Pittsburgh, a small brewery, nice comfortable spot. Check it out.

Honestly, after the past week I could use a bottle of rum. Or three. Taking it way back to February of 1973 with Conan the Barbarian issue number 35, the hell‑spawn of Kara-Shehr. It’s fun to mix the brewery footage with the comic book footage. It’s a lot of fun. And this is ComicBook.beer, after all.

This issue, though it’s a good one, does suffer from a case of misleading cover syndrome. One of the characters on the cover does not actually appear in the issue at all. So if you were hoping to read a story about Conan saving a lovely lady in distress, you’re going to be disappointed. She doesn’t even have a name. She doesn’t exist at all. So let’s block her out with a beer poster. Okay, that’s a more accurate cover: Conan fighting a monster. It is a good issue. We’ll call her Bob. It’s a fitting name.

Here’s the creative team. It’s a John Buscema issue, so you know the art is solid. Conan and his companion Bortai are making their way through the desert until they encounter a man being attacked by brigands. That’s a fun word. They’re brigands enough. One of them throws a spear at him, kills the brigand, Conan steps in, slaughters that guy, picks the man up, and they ride off to help him because Conan’s just being a nice guy, I guess. Then they’re chased by an army of brigands. That’s how the whole issue begins.

We learn that this guy is keeping a secret. Secrets are always good in a Conan issue. Then there’s a sandstorm. The secret is about his magic temple. Immediately you’re like, don’t go to the magic temple because something bad is going to happen. But what do they do? They go to the magic temple after surviving the sandstorm. I love the way Buscema draws the sandstorm. The color work is pretty cool too. It’s faded, it’s old, but it’s really nice artwork. The anatomy is terrific, like usual. Great artwork in these Conan issues.

We also get an advertisement with six LPs or five tapes. And no, those are not cassettes. Those are eight‑tracks. Got some good ones in here. Got some Led Zeppelin up on top. The last city of Kara-Shehr. Wait, Kara-Shehr. Is that spelled the same way? Thanks, 1973 Marvel. Really is a case of a misleading cover. They got the city spelled wrong. Incredible. Nice artwork, questionable proofreading.

They should turn around and run away, but no, they’re going to check this place out because there is the promise of riches, wenches, and mead. That’s what Conan’s in it for. Though he is suspicious, and rightfully so, because look what they encounter: a skeleton holding a giant gem. If you’ve ever read a Conan issue before, you know to leave the skeleton alone. Even Conan knows this. He points it out. He’s like, wait a second, I’ve encountered these things before and I know the pattern. You’re right, you have been through all that before, but you’re a moron. You don’t learn from your own mistakes.

So what do they do? He picks up the jewel and a door starts to open behind them, but they don’t notice it. It’s actually pretty well done. Great storytelling as always. Then they put the jewel back and they’re messing with it, but the brigands show up. You know immediately what’s going to happen. There’s going to be a whole bunch of people killed. That is what happens, but it’s fun to read because we don’t care about any of that. This guy sucks. What an asshole. He even defiles a corpse. You’re definitely not making it through this issue. You don’t even make it through the next two pages before that guy is eaten.

Once again, we get these really cool weather effects as this monster comes alive. Love that shot. This whole issue is really good. And more coupons. The ads just aren’t great in this one. Come on, 1973 advertisements, step up your game. Where are my fruit pies? This panel is really nice. Good fight scenes in this issue. Conan does survive. I’m not going to give away the ending, but I will tell you there is no fair maiden in distress. Unless they erased her before publishing it. Like, she didn’t make any sense, we’ll just eliminate her. That way they don’t have to pay her. Cheap bastards from 1973.

Conan the Barbarian issue 35 is a great read with good action scenes. I like these old‑school foul‑ups. These inconsistencies give them character. This one gets a D for advertisements. They’re just not the most exciting ads. What’s Evel Knievel selling this time around? I don’t remember when Evel Knievel was this popular. Must have been before my time, but I do remember they had those cartoons from the 70s with stunt buggies, dune buggies, talking motorcycles. Kind of reminds me of all this.

I miss those days. I miss the 70s and the 80s and the 90s. We could have just stopped there. Conan the Barbarian issue 35. Check it out. Recommended.

Nobody will remember me. Because you don’t exist.