G.I. Joe: Special Missions #4 - Video Review by 80s Comics

It’s Friday here on 80sComics.com and that means it’s Beer and Comic Book Day. Yesterday I went onto the internet and used this thing called Twitter to ask a question. Should I drink a Winter Warmer and review a Warlord or a Wheat Beer and a Transformers, or should I go with an IPA and review G.I. Joe. The Joes crushed it. But your friend Mark screwed up, because when I went to the fridge I discovered that the IPAs are missing. Apparently they drank themselves when I wasn’t looking. Who knew.

So I have to choose another beer and decided that in honor of the October Guard, I will be drinking an Oktoberfest while reviewing G.I. Joe Special Missions Number 4. Prost. The October Guard is like the Russian equivalent of G.I. Joe. And this is a great issue. It’s nonstop wall‑to‑wall action. If you like the action‑packed G.I. Joe issues, which obviously you do or you wouldn’t still be watching this, then you’re going to love this one. No holds barred. Even the title is intense. And look, we’ve got the helicopter from Rambo 3. And they’ve captured a Firebat. We’ve got roadblock machine‑gunning things with Leatherneck and there’s Wild Bill and this is like the best thing ever. How do you make it better. Beer.

Let’s go with one of the classic Classic Game Room glasses today. Insert beer, output nonstop action and adrenaline. Also fun. I like a good Oktoberfest. This is from Great Lakes Brewing in Cleveland. And Great Lakes is one of my favorite breweries. They do really good work. They’re very consistent. And while most of these craft brewing companies are known for IPAs, Great Lakes is actually known for their lagers. They do really good lagers. And Oktoberfest is a Märzen‑style lager. Really good Oktoberfest. I got a half case of that around Oktoberfest. Can you get a good whiff of that. Smells like victory.

Don’t get me wrong, I like a good IPA, but every now and then you’ve got to go with a lager. It’s a very underrated style these days. Especially an Oktoberfest, which is a really powerful, very flavorful lager. And this is a very powerful one. I was going to say flavorful and then I stopped myself because that’d be stupid. We do have to admire Wild Bill’s flavor saver while we’re on the word flavor. It tastes like last week’s luncheonette thing. Where was I.

All right, here we’ve got the Joes hopping out of the airplane, and Leatherneck can’t fire the Stinger from inside the airplane, so he fires the Stinger at the helicopter while jumping out of the airplane. Parachuting out. It’s just incredible. And there’s Lifeline hanging upside down, which we already know because there he is on the cover. So the Joes stole the Firebat, but the October Guard is hot on their tail. No, their helicopter crashed. I hear you can also shoot those things down with a bow and arrow if you’re Rambo. In between sips of beer, we have to admire the leeches on Leatherneck’s arm.

Look, tiger. But G.I. Joe is the good guys. They don’t shoot the tiger. I mean, he was going to shoot the tiger, but Lifeline is a giant coward and saves the tiger. Here’s the October Guard. Naturally there’s going to be some gunfire. And plenty of it. Who wins. October Guard versus G.I. Joe. The reader, really. All of us. We all win. Great issue. I always like the G.I. Joe issues with nonstop gunfire, which I’m sure comes as a shock to you. This one delivers. Even the advertisements have nonstop gunfire thanks to the Punisher.

Just when you think it can’t get better, it does. But at the end, it’s like Thundercats. We learn a lesson. We learn to not let the 1980s heavy metal girl straight out of a Lita Ford concert shoot one of the October Guard defenseless on the ground. Lifeline steps in and proves that he’s a hero. And so are we because it’s Friday and we’re drinking beer and reading 80s comics on 80sComics.com. Prost.

And once again, check out Great Lakes for some excellent lagers out of Cleveland, which is close to Pittsburgh. They’re like my sister Rust Belt City. And do you know what G.I. Joe is from Pittsburgh. He’s not in this issue. I’ll give you a moment to think about it as I continue drinking. Stop internetting. It’s easy. Steeler is the G.I. Joe from Pittsburgh. This is true. Which means that if you own two Steeler action figures, the NFL will sue you. So you better give one of them away.

Or do what I used to do back in the day, cut them in half and then you can solder them together with other G.I. Joe figures. Friday, 80sComics.com. I was really into the thing. So I’d always solder an arm onto one of their faces and then put it—yeah. Do kids do that anymore. Now they’re too busy on TikTok. It’s a shame. A soldering iron is really tons of fun.