Daily Comic Book Mission #035: ROM Spaceknight #34

Well alright, is everyone ready for your daily comic book mission from ComicBook.Beer? Yeah! It’s a… well, it’s strawberry lemonade Spindrift. Sorry to get your hopes up. It’s like noon, though I did have a stein of Hofbrau-Märzen while first reading this book yesterday, this issue. Rom issue 34 from September of 1982. In fact, I filmed a big video. I’m not sure when it’s gonna be up yet, but I went on a 30‑mile bike ride and did all my favorite things. Like had a hot dog from Costco right in the middle of it. That’s my biking fuel. And I went to two different comic book stores, picked up a whole stack of ROMs, R‑O‑M, ROMs from the dollar section. I don’t know why ROM’s not more popular. ROM is pretty awesome.

This issue is a lot of fun. It’s kind of weird because it mixes two things that I wouldn’t think they would mix together, but we’ve got Rom in the realm of the Sub‑Mariner. And I chose this issue yesterday on my ride. I stopped for a beer because it has sea monsters fighting a robot on the cover. And I’m all about sea monsters fighting robots. And Namor’s in the background holding his hand out, waving at them or something.

So Rom is fighting sea monsters. Alright, so this issue starts out, I guess in the previous issue, number 33, Rom must have saved this girl, this young human child who’s blind, from the Dire Wraiths that abducted her parents and maybe turned her dog into a monster or something. I haven’t read that issue yet. So at the beginning of this issue, Rom restores her sight because he’s such a nice guy, even though he’s not a guy because he’s a robot, but he’s a guy inside the robot. He’s a robot with a heart of gold. And then he just burns down her house. Now, as a homeowner, I think maybe Rom could have had some better ideas here. The girl doesn’t want to move back into this house where she has all these horrible memories, but you know, you could just refurnish the house and then sell it. It looks like a very nice house. You probably could have gotten a couple million bucks and gone and spent that money on beer and comic books. Maybe a sweet eight‑track player. Case of Spindrift. It’s no substitute for a stein of Hofbrau Lager, but still.

Alright, so Rom is flying this girl over the ocean, but beneath the ocean is the kingdom of Namor, the Sub‑Mariner. And Namor just hangs out in his underwear with a crown and talks to his fish friends. But it turns out there’s something going on here. Calling forth unholy horrors from the sacred shrine of our lord Neptune. This is unacceptable. There are horrors. And this sacred shrine of Neptune is being disturbed. So Sub‑Mariner senses that something bad is going to happen, so he goes up to the surface just as Rom apparently fights this giant eel. So Rom fights a sea monster that is a Dire Wraith in disguise, because remember the whole thing with Rom is that these aliens called Dire Wraiths can take any kind of form. A Dire Wraith could be a puppy. It would be a very evil puppy. Or a giant electric eel, which is then a very evil giant electric eel. It zaps Rom, he goes crashing into the ocean, Namor catches the girl, and I guess Rom doesn’t know where the girl is.

One thing leads to another, and Namor and Rom both end up fighting sea monsters who are circling the black pearl of evil. The black pearl seems to glow with an eager ebony energy. With an eager ebony energy. Wow, that’s hard to say. Try saying that. With an eager ebony energy. They did not write this for me to read in the future. Tendrils of darkness reach out and consume the shrieking Wraith fish. One of the evil fish gets tossed into it. And then the issue ends with a promise of a giant battle in the next issue, and on the back cover is one of my favorite ads from the 80s. The Megaforce ad.

Are you man enough for Megaforce? Deeds, not words. Remember Megaforce, the movie? It’s an Atari game too. Megaforce starts at a theater near you June 25th, 1982. Well, I think I’ll be seeing you in 1982. I’d much rather be there than now. So until that happens, you’ve got your reading assignment now. ROM issue 34 from September of 1982. It’s a lot of fun. It’s just goofy. It’s goofy good fun. Rom, a robot, and Namor fighting possessed sea monsters. You really can’t go wrong with that. So happy reading from ComicBook dot Beer. And keep an eye out for that video. It’s a lot of fun. I promise you.