Transformers #5 - Video Review by 80s Comics

Welcome back to 80sComics.com for the review of Transformers issue number five. The Transformers are all dead. This is my favorite cover from the entire series. More than meets the eye, but less than meets the ear. Shockwave is one of my favorite Transformers. I have told this story before, but back in the day, like 1985 or 1986, I had the chance to get one of the bigger Transformers like Optimus Prime and I chose Shockwave because he transforms into a space gun. Also he is Shockwave. And he is basically the star of this issue, which is why it is good. Good, because Shockwave is an asshole. And it is a good issue too. So he starts off watching TV, but why is he not watching Magnum PI or The Love Boat. This is from 1985. You have so many better options.

Shockwave is sitting in a throne watching this garbage. This is the first Transformers story that takes place after the original four part limited series run. And they must have sold so well that Marvel and Hasbro were like, yes, let us make more of these things. And I welcome that move because they are great. The first twenty or thirty issues of The Transformers were really good. They get a little wacky after that, but there are still some choice moments and a lot of great one liners.

And this one, I just love Shockwave. His whole attitude is terrific because he thinks he is superior to all of the other Transformers, and for the most part he is, because the other Transformers are idiots. Without giving away specifically what happens after the first four issues, we do find that Megatron is in a bit of trouble. And here is the creative team. Pencils this time by Alan Kupferberg. Pencils and ink, he did the art. I hate that bonkers ad. That ad sucks. It is almost as bad as Sea Monkeys, but not quite. We get a recap of the original Transformers story for those of you just joining the Transformers adventure. And we see what Shockwave transforms into. This little thing was plastic. You could flip it up and it blinked purple and made laser sounds. I have no idea where that went, but I probably blew it up when they were fighting G.I. Joe in my basement at one point back in the day, you know, like last week.

I forgot to show you my favorite line of dialogue in this one. The conquest of this planet and enslavement of its people shall be a simple task. Shockwave, we need you now more than ever. So I put out on the 80s Comics Twitter account a poll. Transformers versus Punisher versus Conan versus G.I. Joe, and Transformers won. So here you go. Issue five. Once again we see Buster. He is talking to Ratchet. Dad is in the hospital. Blah blah blah, plot. And more importantly, the Autobots are being dragged to their death to be used as spare parts. And that is good because the Autobots suck.

Shockwave has taken over command of the Decepticons and I think, I could be wrong, but I think this is the first time that we learn about the creation matrix, which is inside Optimus Prime. So there is a bit of information in here which is relevant. Even now in the future, it is said that once every ten millennia a new Autobot leader is chosen and encoded with the matrix. I calculate that is Optimus Prime. And if he has the program, Shockwave means to get it. And do what with it. The present eleven Decepticons are not sufficient to fulfill my plans or stock Toys R Us. I will use the creation matrix to build more Decepticons, many more, to sell to you and to make movies and cartoons for the next thirty years. Forty. I have no idea. 1985 was so long ago.

And then we shall conquer this planet because Shockwave is awesome. But somehow he still manages to screw it up. I like how he just flies off in gun form. If my memory serves correctly, you could just fly Shockwave around like a gun. There was nothing stopping you. And he could fight the G.I. Joe jets and win because he is a giant laser gun. Good writing, good dialogue in this one. The art is not my favorite, but I do like this particular shot. It is great seeing all the Autobots hanging upside down dead.

I just wish Bumblebee was liquefied. In case you did not know, I hate Bumblebee. Optimus Prime’s head. No.

You know what else is a lot of fun. Reading the letters after the first run of The Transformers, when Transformers were brand new. Yes, there was a time when Transformers were brand new. Dear Sirs, I think the Transformers are neat. That is swell, Scott. Dear Decepticons, your penciler Frank Springer is fantastic. That is true. Frank Springer is great. Dear Marvel, I love the idea of the Transformers. I like the idea of the Transformers too.

It is a great issue. Issue five. Best cover in the entire run. It does not get any better than that except, well, it could if he was stepping on Bumblebee’s remains. Otherwise, it is a nice cover. Thanks to those of you who voted in the 80s Comics Twitter poll and I will see you soon as we celebrate the 80s and ignore the 20s here on 80sComics.com. The Transformers are all dead until the next issue. I suspect they are not really dead. They have backups on floppy disks.