Conan the Barbarian #41 - Video Review by ComicBook.beer

Welcome back to ComicBook.beer. It is Conan the Barbarian time, kicking it with issue number 41 from 1974. That is right, this Conan is older than I am, but not by much. In fact, August of 74, one wonders if this is perhaps the issue that put my parents in the mood. You never know. That would explain a lot though. Anyway, this is a phenomenal issue of Conan. It is special.

It is sneaky, this issue. I will tell you why. For starters, look at the cover. You are like, all right, cool, it has got a big yellow Conan, Garden of Death and Life, awesome, Conan is fighting a monster. Then it is like, wait a second. That is a tree with teeth eating someone. When is the last time you saw a tree with teeth eating somebody. It has probably been at least a week. And it is not just that it is eating this woman, it has teeth, and they are very nice teeth. Look at that. That tree brushes. Dental work on monster trees in the forest, in the Garden of Death and Life.

Okay, so this starts out like pretty much any other Conan issue. It kind of hooks you. All right, Conan shows up in town and the first thing he wants to do is get drunk and laid, because that is how Conan rolls. He thinks with his dick. He is immediately distracted though because this woman comes running from this mob that is trying to light her on fire.

Like, okay, come on, I have seen this in like 30 other Conan issues. There is probably some spire in the middle of town with a crazy wizard and he is going to rip the wings off something and ride off on a town drunk later at the end of the day after everyone is dead. But no, this one is a little different. They all want to kill this woman and he protects her. He is just like, blah, blah, gargle, blargle, whatever Conan says. There was no reason for ill manners. You have to say it in Arnold’s voice.

It is not quite the way I had hoped to spend what is left of this night, wenching and getting wasted in the local tavern. Instead, he has to save this woman from this crowd who wants to kill her. He has no idea why they want to kill her, but she is a woman and he is Conan, and that is pretty much how he rolls. So after killing a couple of this armed mob, after you learn karate, Conan saves the woman and they ride out of town together where his hopes are high, but she falls asleep. Sorry, Conan. And the next morning she is not interested either, but she keeps taunting him.

So you are still like, all right, this is pretty much like any other Conan issue. They are going to find some sort of temple in the middle of the desert and there is going to be some sort of possessed mummy or skeleton or whatever like this.

It gets cold in the desert at night. Why do we not, I am not cold. Shut up Conan. I am not in the mood. I have a headache. So these thieves or whatever try to attack them in the middle of the desert, but they escape and they end up at this oasis. It is a mysterious oasis. Conan jumps in, there are a bunch of bones at the bottom of it. You are like, what is going on here. But then they actually overpower Conan and capture him.

Here is where that person, somebody cut out the stamp in the comic again. This is why I get these for a dollar. You cut out half the page, dumbass kid from 1974. You. Anyway, the woman is acting real weird, and Conan is still just trying to save her, but there is clearly something up with her.

She does not have a regular name. In fact, she does not even have a name. She just keeps saying the same weird word over and over again. I do not want to give away the ending of this one because it is such a surprise what actually happens. I am going to give you a flash here, you ready. Shut your eyes if you do not want any spoilers. I am just going to give you a surprise. Oh, oops, there you go. All right. So there are monsters, but the best part of it, I have to put over here. So before I get to the part that is my favorite.

Here is the creative team. Roy Thomas, John Buscema, my favorite Conan artist. Just look at the work he does on Conan’s expression here. I feel like I am not going to put this in context for you, but you have to admire the artwork here. It is incredible. Look, you can also manage the majors in Strat-O-Magic baseball.

Oh, I forgot about this. It caught my eye while I was reading the issue. So how much would you pay for a used Raquel Welch pillow. Not much. Conan the Barbarian, issue number 41 from August of 1974. One of my favorite Conans that I read recently. Trees with Teeth. Actually, I am not sure the tree has, oh wait, I do not want to give away the rest. There may or may not be a carnivorous tree that eats people in the issue. Garden of Death and Life, highly recommended. I was going to say 80s comics.

Different show, ComicBook.beer. I am going to protect this from dust to prevent the kids from cutting out more pages.

We have to read the fine print on this advertisement for the Raquel Welch pillow. I am about to clip this out and mail it in, by the way. I thought it was weird at first, but now I think it is really weird, so I am super intrigued. For only 1.98, because 1.99 would be right out. What man would not enjoy spending a night with Raquel Welch. 1974 Raquel Welch. That is a fair statement. Well, we cannot deliver her against her wishes, probably not. But we can deliver the next best thing, an inflatable pillow of Raquel, made of rugged vinyl. That is good to serve as your headrest, sure. Keep her for yourself or show her to your friends who are going to think you are a weirdo. Livens up the party when everyone sees and feels this great gag.

Yes, that really depends on what kind of party you are throwing in 1974. The Raquel Welch pillow. How do I order this. Do I need to, oh here we go. All right, well anyway, excuse me as I find some scissors. I am taking the sex pillow and we are going to need at least three of those.

Total price. Six bucks, you guys can keep the change.