Conan the Barbarian #147 - Video Review by 80s Comics

Welcome back to 80s Comics Pro where you're a professional at watching 80s comics reviews. You're one of the elite, the selected few who get to see my beautiful locks on camera. Look at that. I'm going for a mullet until somebody shaves it off in my sleep probably. But until then, we can all enjoy my feathered brilliance as I bring you the review of Conan the Barbarian issue 147 from 1983. Gosh, I wish it was 1983, but in all seriousness, let's take a moment to celebrate Canadian heritage, not mine, but somebody else's. With a beer? Because it's after five o'clock somewhere, maybe. It doesn't matter. Rules no longer apply. But you know what does apply? Beer and 1980s comic books. Doesn't make much sense, but it doesn't need to either because we're here to have fun. So cheers to your health. I hope you are doing well and enjoying my hair before we shave it off. I should dye it purple and put it in a mohawk, but let's get back to business. Conan the Barbarian issue 147.

Welcome back to 80s comics. I was trying to come up with a fancy jingle but I can't think of anything that rhymes with comics. Ergonomics. What could be more ergonomic than Conan the Barbarian saving beautiful ladies who are being kidnapped by flying monsters in 1983? It's issue 147, which has an ad for Lock and Chase on the inside cover. Great game. Tower of Mitra by the twin sons of Zimbian. Here's the talented team of creators who made this comic. Pay attention to the lettering. Janis Chiang's got fantastic handwriting skills. Much better than mine and probably yours.

So we start out here. Conan the Barbarian is daydreaming about killing people and loving a bunch of beautiful ladies, including this one who starts talking to him as he's drinking alone by the fire. Conan help me! It's Polygalion. Polygalion. He loves her. Just like all the other ones. But he loves her more. A little bit. Maybe. We don't really care. As Conan enters a city with a mysterious tower. How many issues of Conan the Barbarian feature this plot where he enters a town and there's a tower and there's bad things happening in the town, probably because of the tower. It's like every other issue, but that's okay because that's one of the many reasons we love Conan. We know there's something that needs its ass kicked in that tower and Conan's going to do it. After we admire Polygalion in her best Princess Leia getup.

Who's now evil? She's the high priestess. Leia wore it better. She no longer cares for Conan, but Conan kills a bunch of people on his way to save her, but she's all cold and heartless and he's like, whatever, this place sucks. He rides off on his horse. Come horse. That's the horse's name, horse. Good name, Conan. Way to go. Let's get back to the honest profession of briganding. Briganding. It's got nice benefits. The air seems unhealthy and heady in this town. Come now, it's time for your rest. Look at that lettering. It's beautiful. As she's being led into this secret dungeon and drugged or fed magic potions or just magic or absent or maybe all of them at the same time which sounds like a lot of fun.

Then she starts talking to Conan in the forest. She's like, save me! And that's what Conan does. Conan saves damsels in distress. Look, someone's about to get screwed. Those guys. Probably her. Wait, I'll cut that out.

One of the best things about Conan the Barbarian, in addition to everything, is that they can basically recycle the same plot over and over and over again and it's always entertaining and fun to read. Look at that, she's crying. You know why? Because she feels sorry for us. Stuck in the year 2020, which sucks, and she's immortalized in 1983, which is awesome. She could go to the theater right now and Return of the Jedi is playing. Stop crying!

Conan smashes some heads together. We get a sweet ad to join the Galactic Legions. And 1983 is just incredible. So naturally Conan bashes some bad guys' heads together. He saves the girl. She's threatened. I love the panels with the red backgrounds. They always stand out nicely. Buscema's artwork is incredible. We get some monsters, some action, stabbing, Conan kicking ass, and an ad for Tutankham on the Atari 2600. Not a bad game.

A little Tron and a whole lot of Conan the Barbarian 147. Another excellent issue in the series. This era, as I've said before, this era in the Conan series is really good. And these are super cheap. I picked this one up for I think two dollars from my local comic shop. You should pick it up for two dollars or whatever. Whatever your local comic shop is charging, haggle with them. Talk them down to like two fifteen. It's worth it. It's worth every penny. Conan the Barbarian and I'll see you soon.

All the way from 1983, it's 80s comics and Conan the Barbarian. Also rhymes with economics. He's an economics major in college. Did you know that? I made that up. That's a stupid joke, but I'm gonna keep it in there. You know why? I actually have no idea why, but whatever.

The other day somebody asked me, Mark, is it party in the back but business in the front? And I said no, no. After like eight months in quarantine, it's party everywhere. Definitely a severe lack of business going on here, which is perfect for reviewing 80s comics, especially when there's ads for Tron video games on the inside back cover. Look at that, it's Tron because it's the 80s, which is better than 2020. To be fair everything is pretty much better than 2020.

Hey, Vok, Lach and Chase! Three sips of beer and I'm already slurring because I'm a professional. So that you don't have to be. Recently I switched over to lighter beers. Because surprise, surprise, those big triple IPAs have a lot of calories. A Labatt Blue is light and refreshing, which means I have to drink three times as many of them to get the same number of calories as one of those big super duper IPAs. It's a good beer too. It's nice when it's warm here in the Intergalactic 70s space bar.

Rockin' 1983 when Van Halen was probably on tour, Return of the Jedi was new, and you could buy a brand new brown El Camino to match this wallpaper. Hope you enjoyed the high quality in-depth review of Conan 147 and I'll see you soon. You never know when it's all gonna get cut off, so enjoy it. Eventually my wife's gonna pin me down. It looks terrible. I love it. See you next time on 80s Comics. Getting hair in my beer.